It is absolutely essential that there be intense love between husband and wife. Our Sages’ saying is well known: One must “love his wife as himself and honor her more than himself” (Yevamos 62b). However, one must be careful to not diminish his service of Hashem on account of his love for his wife.
The primary love [for a wife] is the love of the soul, and it is his responsibility to guide her, using pleasant speech, on the pathways of tznius-modesty, and to distance her from evil-speech, anger and the like. He should instruct her about the particulars of mitzvos—especially in the areas of prayer, blessings, keeping Shabbos, and the like. How good and pleasant it is to study works of Mussar-character refinement with her and to share with her words of our Sages that are relevant to her, and to impart their severity. In this way, her heart will be filled with awe and she will be even more vigilant in these matters than the man.