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Friday

י"ט אדר ב’ התשפ"ד

Friday
י"ט אדר ב’ התשפ"ד

חיפוש בארכיון

278. Holding back (1)

There are things which it is very good to hold oneself back from. Examples of this are anything about which there is any worry that it might come close to a sin, and it is not clear that it includes a good deed, then it is better to sit and do nothing. Similarly, in a place where there is a worry that by speaking to someone or sitting next to him one is actually annoying him, even if it is only a distant possibility, he should worry about it. By doing this he will fulfil the verse in Proverbs “Remove your foot from the house of your friend lest he will be fed up with you and hate you!”. For these purposes one needs great knowledge and understanding, for many times it will appear to a person that he is pleasant to his friend, and the friend considers him to be a painful thorn, and even though he shows him a nice face, deep down he is wondering when you will go.

The rule of thumb in all of these things is that if you are unsure it is better to sit and do nothing. It is far better that people will have an appetite for him and his words than that they should be fed up with him. Even when speaking in public one should be concise, and it is better that people should complain “What a short speaker he is!”, than that they should say “What a long speaker he is!”. In a place where his words are not achieving anything, he should hold himself back from saying words of rebuke. Instead, he should speak about words of Aggadah which draw the heart. Al of these rules have no fixed amount, and a wise man will listen and add more of his own, and weigh his words with justice. He will love the worries, so that he will find favor in the eyes of man and Hashem.

“My brothers and my nation, take this sefer Torah, and with this, and like this learn well, so that you should have it good; listen and enliven your soul, and achieve gladness and joy in this world and the world to come” (From the author’s intro.)