The trait of a giving nature is very necessary in the home, and it is as good as a diamond when it comes to peace and like a precious stone with regard to love. For a giving nature brings peace between people and between husband and wife. See what our Sages said – that it is forbidden for a person to cut back on the expenses of family without
their will or consent, even if he is doing so in order to have more money available for giving extra tzedakah and good deeds, for such is not the will of Hashem, since the life of the people of one’s home come first. Though one should be generous with his family, that is provided that he does not spend lavishly on food, beverage and costly clothing, for that would be a transgression of Do not destroy (Devarim 20:19), and instead of wasting for no purpose or for something sinful, it is better that he spend it on a mitzvah.
King David said: Now, behold, despite my inadequacy, I have prepared etc. (I Divrei Hayamim 22:14). Our Sages explain that King David minimized his expenses and pleasures which most kings would enjoy so that he would be able to amass a great fortune with which to build the Holy Temple.
The Torah cares about the money of Israel, and our Sages thus taught that when spending on tzedakah one should not spend more than a fifth of his wealth, lest he become poor himself. If so, it goes without saying that one should not spend money unnecessarily on personal [non-mitzvah] items or overspend on luxuries as is the wont of the wealthy. If people would be wise they would realize that with the money they threw away they could have brought joy to downtrodden and miserable people, and they could have infused new life into suffering souls. And even if they do give a lot to tzedakah, the poor are still poor and their homes are still empty, while if only the wealthy would give the poor their leftovers and what they consider ugly – the poor would consider it choice and elegant. So, an intelligent person should think carefully about what, how and when to spend his money and when it is better to spend less. He should act in an upright manner in accord with his standing and nature in a manner that brings dignity to the person and respect from others.
