In Mishlei it is written: Train the youth according to his way; even when he grows old, he will not swerve from it (Mishlei 22:6). This is a mitzvah upon a father about his son, to train him in Torah and mitzvos, for the entire purpose of having children is to raise them upon Torah and Divine service. And just as it is necessary to train them in Torah and mitzvos, so is it necessary to train them in proper manners and good traits, so that all who see them will recognize them, that they are the seed that Hashem has blessed (Yeshayah 61:9). And he should train them and get them accustomed to the trait of contentment, that they not be intensely enthusiastic about and preoccupied with good food and fine clothes. And even if Hashem graced the person with wealth, he should accustom his children to be satisfied with less so that it will not be difficult for them during trying times.
One should also train his children to deal with others respectfully and that they not be brazen and stubborn. He should teach them to be among those “those who are insulted but do not insult others [in revenge]” (see Yoma 23a). He should keep them away from bad friends, from swearing, from levity and from lewdness and the like.
It takes wisdom and knowledge to truly understand one’s children and to know how to behave with them, as appropriate for their personality and their stage in life. Above all, one needs to pour out his soul in prayer before Hashem that his sins should not impede what is good from him and that all his offspring be holy children.
The father is also obligated to educate and train his daughters in all skills, qualities and good traits. They should especially be trained to be content with less, that they should look favorably at others, and that they not be lazy or overly talkative.
These are just a few points regarding training one’s children. Let the wise one hear and increase his insight (Mishlei 1:5), and in this way he will delight with his offspring in this World and his soul will rejoice in the World to Come.
