There are many people who possess this trait of never breaking their word, but they lose more than they gain, because they use this trait even for the bad or when they said they would not do something good. Even if he is approached to be appeased about something, he will not calm down, and he insists: “I will not go against my word even if they give me everything in the world.” This type of person is unwholesome and he drives away his dearest and his friends; he gains many enemies, and in general generates hatred and tension. Even the people of his household cannot stand him because he is always saying, “The way I said it is how it must be. My word will never be revoked.” This is a terrible evil, and it causes all illness.
On the other hand, it is the way of the good person to retract and to yield his own opinion in the face of other people’s opinion, if necessary. He is mercifully appeased and he forgives easily. He will always think very carefully before promising to do a favor for his fellow or before threatening to do harm. Then, once he says it he is careful to faithfully keep his word. Better for one to say he will not do some favor and then go back to do it rather then promise to do something and then retract and not do it.
When it is the other way, [when someone promises something towards him,] he will not undo his fellow’s promise and will not negate the fellow’s word, whenever possible, even if he is his enemy — to fulfill the verse, seek out peace and pursue it. Our Sages said, “One should be soft like a reed and not firm like a cedar.” In this way, one will always be a “righteous person who will flourish like a date palm, like a cedar.”
