There are meals which one is allowed to eat and others which by eating them one is fulfilling a good deed. Any meal which is partaken of together with other people can be assumed to be dangerous. The eating period is like wartime. This is especially true of regular meals about which Chazal said “Any meal which is not for a Mitzvah a wise man may not partake of it!”. They aid further that in a place where one eats a regular meal, the Satan takes the first portion amongst the guests and dances between them, and one sin causes many other sins. In the same way as a commandment fulfilled in public gives extra force to the holiness, so too the sin done in public. When one eats and drinks excessively this leads to lightheadedness and mockery and many other sins.
It follows that a man who fears Hashem will keep very far away from regular meals, as from a sword. If for some reason (e.g. to keep the peace) he feels that he must go, he should undertake before going that his eating and drinking should be measured and not excessive, his mouth should say only wise things and his personal thoughts should be intelligent. He should remember the destruction of the holy temple which was destroyed because of our sins and feel deep pain about this and draw the general conversation to words of Torah, character building and fear of Hashem. If he would like to sing at the table, he should sing such songs which remember the temple and our sins etc. and by doing this he will get merits for himself and give them to others and maybe he will avoid sin. He should do this even at a meal for a Mitzvah so as to avoid it being a Mitzvah which comes about by doing a sin, and no bad consequences will come about and his eating will be acceptable and be considered a good deed, and his table will be called a table before Hashem.
