Refusal is one of those things which a lot of is bad and a little of it is good, as Chazal say regarding one who is asked to act as cantor that the first time he should refuse, the second time he should start to give in and the third time he should go. They also said “One refuses to an unimportant man but not to an important man!”. The correct way is not to refuse or transgress the will of any man, and he should annul his own opinion and knowledge before that of others, in a matter which has no hint of sin.
How awful is the custom of the world, that a giver tries to persuade the receiver to accept, and the receiver refuses to accept, and they try to persuade each other until they become embarrassed. this is not good. They should refuse twice or three times, and if he wants he should accept, and if not, the giver should not force him to accept against his will. Instead, he should leave him to do what he wants, for the honor of a person is to do his will. in this way he will be accepted by other people and find favor in their eyes.
